Just Kidding?

Sy Otter was always a procrastinator.  “I’m a perfectionist!” he would always say.  Nevertheless he was always late or incomplete – unless it was something fun.  Sy was the most handsome water mammal in the wildwood.  The beavers and the muskrats all envied him.  True, one old industrious beaver called Blair resented his “play first” attitude.  Once, Blair surfaced in the pond near where Sy was floating, basking in the warm sun, and offered, “Break those big projects down into simple tasks Mr. Perfectionist!”  Then he slapped his broad tail on the surface for punctuation, and dove down to the underwater entrance of his spotless home.

“Beavers are so anal.” muttered Sy, and he returned to his fantasies about his lady friend Samantha.  It was mating season and procrastination happily wasn’t an option.  But first, he’d have to do his tax return and that meant sucking up to Big Al the gar, the only accountant in the beaver pond in Piscah creek.

The other fish all hated Big Al.  He was slow and alligator ugly, and when he was hungry he ate their babies.  During tax season though, Big Al stayed up late every night and worked very hard – mostly for the land critters who had taxable income.  The pond dwellers generally swam beneath the reporting threshold because they were very poor.

By far the wildwood’s wealthiest inhabitant was Max the hedge hog and fund manager.  Even wily old Blair had his life savings in his care and was quite pleased with an overall return of 8.2%.  Even Blair’s partner Peyton had recently moved his small account over to Max’s stewardship. Most of the wildwood’s citizens, however, just lived day to day. Max always stayed in touch with his customers (using the birds that were on his staff.)  He was very proactive on his clients’ behalf but most of the older animals were very nervous after the recession.  And now, Max was a little nervous too.  He was pretty sure that there would be new regulations on his bonus awards and they would take time to work around.  So he just curled up in a ball and waited…

Early the next morning, everyone in the wildwood could hear Dakota barking. He’d heard a noise outside the crazy woman’s cabin.  Sure, he knew it was probably nothing but at least everyone would know this dog was alert and on the job.  Besides, if he was awake, no need for anyone else to still be sleeping.  He was proud to be so focused.

But it was something. A clever barred owl called Mary had recently emerged from her self-imposed hibernation.  Instead of flying south to Miami Beach with her family, she preferred to just stay put until the weather was more agreeable. Other critters that loved the old gal would stop by with crackers and a little may apple wine – enough to keep her going during the winter.

But now she was really hungry.  She’d been waiting for dawn when the mice begin venturing out looking for seeds and berries.  Mary knew exactly where they’d be and soon there were three warm furry ones snacking on huckleberries that had dropped during the night. One of the mice, a young dark one called Bertrand, was sniffing a berry.  Mary had already begun her downward glide, approaching downwind.  A second later Bertrand was screaming inaudibly in Mary’s strong talons.  Those silent high pitched cries are what Dakota heard.

Mary flew back to her perch by beating her wings only four times.  Only when Bertrand lay lifeless on the branch near her aerie did she announce her satisfaction with a long “hoohoo, hoo-aw.”  No showboating.  She was the most skillful nocturnal hunter in the wildwood.  Celebration is something the young foxes would do. She feasted, and then would nap most of the day.

Near where the Pisgah creek broadened into a spring pond, Sy, a lackadaisical river otter heard Mary’s modest announcement.  Sy was hungry and knew he would have to do something, but not right away.  Sliding down the dewy morning embankment was too much fun.  Hunting for crayfish or lazy frogs would have to wait.